Godammit are you a darn good writer. I grew too attached to Derek. He was like a real person with real hopes and dreams. Real dialogues and thoughts. Real man.
A perfect five star from me, building up the character purely from Hopeless series little backstory about the man with no limbs.
I know that Derek must suffer to serve the backstory, but I just can't--my mind ran into a loop, a denial of outcome, like Derek did when he was brutally pulled into this.
Goshdarnit my head is filled with cuss words at the last chapters.
The story is just so good, but I'll just resort into my head for a while, here, where Derek received less punishment when he came clean with his past: lifetime confinement to the facility as security (kept as pet?) + blowjobs from Aaron and Asshole.
He suffered too many since childhood, it just served him right to have a little bit of happiness, though maybe a little twisted in nature. Maybe he'll ease into it just like the brotherhood coronation event. Plus, he gets the gentle fuck from Aaron and a fellow German Shepherd pup to work with. Who knows? Maybe he'll learn he wasn't so straight after all, with a little nudge.
YES! You've summed it up perfectly in your first sentence, and I echo your sentiment: writing this was a mistake.
Like you, I grew too attached to Derek. I knew where I wanted this story to go before I started writing it, and his doom was foreordained from 20 years ago when I wrote "Hopeless". But once I got going, I came to like him too much. He was, as you observed, real. I hit a major block when trying to write chapter 10. I didn't want to hurt him!
Your alternative ending is good, but I'll offer this one too in case it works for you. It's where my mind went. What if Derek had not sent that incriminating letter to the Boston PD?
In this ending, Derek rebuilds himself a new life in Florida, away from the cold winters that he always disliked, away from the inhuman brutality of Dr. Cresh's organization. It takes him a while to "uncult" his mind, but he eventually gets there. Five years down the road, he has made new friends and has successfully moved on. Every once in a while, he'll hear a word like "asset" or "client" and think back to his previous experiences, but at enough of a distance that he can just smile a secretive smile and move on.
It's a boring ending, sure. "Boring" isn't necessarily bad!
Thanks for reading, and for your insightful comment.
That paragraph was the closure I never knew I needed.
You wrote it so eloquently it just fits right into the narrative. I absolutely *love* the idea of Derek not sending the incriminating letter. Choosing instead to settle down a quiet life, where Dr. Cresh decided it was a fair price for keeping the silence.
Goddamn.
Are you planning to write a 'boring' ending for Derek? *puppy eyes*
I'm still plowing away writing my own AU just to cope Derek's untimely death, but still, it'll never see the light of day.
You are such an amazing author. I've noticed that the later stories' character are more fleshed out and more distinct. Landon from 'Bone'. Jeremy from 'Anger Management Therapy'. Jaren from 'How to Catch a Wrestler'. The man from 'I want you to want me'. And finally, Derek. It's just *unreal* how these characters just popped out of the screen.
Well you already know this ending brought me to tears but I'll add this anyway - I think it was the right ending. Difficult, heart rending and utterly soul crushing but it's the obvious one. Derek is a decent guy at heart, albeit not the brightest, and he would have wanted to try and right the wrongs he saw and also committed. By doing this he seals his fate. The fingers of evil stretch between the cracks of society, his gesture is his undoing. This story reflects life in many ways, the happy endings are few and far between.
I'd love a follow up after Ed (Hopeless) texted CNN etc. about what was happening. He and Derek ultimately have good hearts but were no match for the evil of Dr. Cresh.
Adam, I've definitely considered it. For now, I'm leaning against the idea, though. Here's my thinking:
I'm with you and Anonymous above: I want to see Dr. Cresh taken down. I want to see him suffer, and not in the form of "here's a taste of your own medicine, see how you like it". No, he deserves to be slowly ground down in the relentless, soul-crushing indifference of the criminal justice bureaucracy.
But if I write that out, I think I would actually weaken the ending. There is power in leaving things unsaid. See the ending of the movie "A Quiet Place" for an example. That film ends at exactly the right point in the story; continuing on to show the scenes that we know must come next would only detract.
When Hopeless 2 ends, Eddie has won. Dr. Cresh's downfall is inevitable. Eddie is riding high. He is the polar opposite of "hopeless". If I write out what happens next, Eddie inevitably has to come down from that high. Even with the best possible outcome, he's still in pretty bad shape: no teeth, no arms, no dick. I prefer to imagine him in my mind as being forever perched at that high point rather than have to walk with him through the aftermath.
So that's my thinking, which, again, could change.
Thank you so much for your kind remarks on the stories.
Sorry if it's inappropriate but I'm trying to find a particular geocities page (oocities) which had a library of snuff stories, most of them in the form of word documents. I can't find the link to this page anymore, but I seem to recall springboarding off there through your blog. I might be mistaken.
By the way, do you have any good sites with gay snuff stories you can recommend? Haven't found any really good ones other than yours.
I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the library of snuff stories you're looking for. Thank you for the kind compliment, although you and I could probably have a lengthy exchange of ideas about what makes for a "good" snuff story. My take: most of the sadist characters I create are in it for the victim's pain, and a dead body feels no pain. Thus, the victim's death is a failure on the part of the sadist; he broke his toy. I expect your take would be different and I would be interested in learning your thoughts on the subject. There's so much fascinating variety within this already-very-specialized niche.
The best resource I can point you to is probably http://depictionsofdeath.blogspot.com/ . Google's statistics consistently show that as a site that refers here and it contains an abundance of both stories and images. Not really my thing, of course, because, y'know, suffering vs. death and all, but it sounds like it might be right up your alley.
A slightly different possibility... the reason I started writing in the first place was because I couldn't find stories out there that I found satisfying, so I decided to create my own. Perhaps you might consider doing the same? You must have ideas in your head about things that turn you on. Maybe set them down in words and share them?
Reading this was a mistake.
ReplyDeleteGodammit are you a darn good writer. I grew too attached to Derek. He was like a real person with real hopes and dreams. Real dialogues and thoughts. Real man.
A perfect five star from me, building up the character purely from Hopeless series little backstory about the man with no limbs.
I know that Derek must suffer to serve the backstory, but I just can't--my mind ran into a loop, a denial of outcome, like Derek did when he was brutally pulled into this.
Goshdarnit my head is filled with cuss words at the last chapters.
The story is just so good, but I'll just resort into my head for a while, here, where Derek received less punishment when he came clean with his past: lifetime confinement to the facility as security (kept as pet?) + blowjobs from Aaron and Asshole.
He suffered too many since childhood, it just served him right to have a little bit of happiness, though maybe a little twisted in nature. Maybe he'll ease into it just like the brotherhood coronation event. Plus, he gets the gentle fuck from Aaron and a fellow German Shepherd pup to work with. Who knows? Maybe he'll learn he wasn't so straight after all, with a little nudge.
YES! You've summed it up perfectly in your first sentence, and I echo your sentiment: writing this was a mistake.
DeleteLike you, I grew too attached to Derek. I knew where I wanted this story to go before I started writing it, and his doom was foreordained from 20 years ago when I wrote "Hopeless". But once I got going, I came to like him too much. He was, as you observed, real. I hit a major block when trying to write chapter 10. I didn't want to hurt him!
Your alternative ending is good, but I'll offer this one too in case it works for you. It's where my mind went. What if Derek had not sent that incriminating letter to the Boston PD?
In this ending, Derek rebuilds himself a new life in Florida, away from the cold winters that he always disliked, away from the inhuman brutality of Dr. Cresh's organization. It takes him a while to "uncult" his mind, but he eventually gets there. Five years down the road, he has made new friends and has successfully moved on. Every once in a while, he'll hear a word like "asset" or "client" and think back to his previous experiences, but at enough of a distance that he can just smile a secretive smile and move on.
It's a boring ending, sure. "Boring" isn't necessarily bad!
Thanks for reading, and for your insightful comment.
Hey, it's me again.
DeleteGoddamn you SOB.
That paragraph was the closure I never knew I needed.
You wrote it so eloquently it just fits right into the narrative. I absolutely *love* the idea of Derek not sending the incriminating letter. Choosing instead to settle down a quiet life, where Dr. Cresh decided it was a fair price for keeping the silence.
Goddamn.
Are you planning to write a 'boring' ending for Derek? *puppy eyes*
I'm still plowing away writing my own AU just to cope Derek's untimely death, but still, it'll never see the light of day.
You are such an amazing author. I've noticed that the later stories' character are more fleshed out and more distinct. Landon from 'Bone'. Jeremy from 'Anger Management Therapy'. Jaren from 'How to Catch a Wrestler'. The man from 'I want you to want me'. And finally, Derek. It's just *unreal* how these characters just popped out of the screen.
I look forward to reading more from you.
Your secret fan,
-D
Well you already know this ending brought me to tears but I'll add this anyway - I think it was the right ending. Difficult, heart rending and utterly soul crushing but it's the obvious one. Derek is a decent guy at heart, albeit not the brightest, and he would have wanted to try and right the wrongs he saw and also committed. By doing this he seals his fate. The fingers of evil stretch between the cracks of society, his gesture is his undoing. This story reflects life in many ways, the happy endings are few and far between.
ReplyDeleteI'd love a follow up after Ed (Hopeless) texted CNN etc. about what was happening. He and Derek ultimately have good hearts but were no match for the evil of Dr. Cresh.
ReplyDeleteAdam, I've definitely considered it. For now, I'm leaning against the idea, though. Here's my thinking:
ReplyDeleteI'm with you and Anonymous above: I want to see Dr. Cresh taken down. I want to see him suffer, and not in the form of "here's a taste of your own medicine, see how you like it". No, he deserves to be slowly ground down in the relentless, soul-crushing indifference of the criminal justice bureaucracy.
But if I write that out, I think I would actually weaken the ending. There is power in leaving things unsaid. See the ending of the movie "A Quiet Place" for an example. That film ends at exactly the right point in the story; continuing on to show the scenes that we know must come next would only detract.
When Hopeless 2 ends, Eddie has won. Dr. Cresh's downfall is inevitable. Eddie is riding high. He is the polar opposite of "hopeless". If I write out what happens next, Eddie inevitably has to come down from that high. Even with the best possible outcome, he's still in pretty bad shape: no teeth, no arms, no dick. I prefer to imagine him in my mind as being forever perched at that high point rather than have to walk with him through the aftermath.
So that's my thinking, which, again, could change.
Thank you so much for your kind remarks on the stories.
Hi.
ReplyDeleteSorry if it's inappropriate but I'm trying to find a particular geocities page (oocities) which had a library of snuff stories, most of them in the form of word documents. I can't find the link to this page anymore, but I seem to recall springboarding off there through your blog. I might be mistaken.
By the way, do you have any good sites with gay snuff stories you can recommend? Haven't found any really good ones other than yours.
Hello, A Fan.
DeleteI'm afraid I'm not familiar with the library of snuff stories you're looking for. Thank you for the kind compliment, although you and I could probably have a lengthy exchange of ideas about what makes for a "good" snuff story. My take: most of the sadist characters I create are in it for the victim's pain, and a dead body feels no pain. Thus, the victim's death is a failure on the part of the sadist; he broke his toy. I expect your take would be different and I would be interested in learning your thoughts on the subject. There's so much fascinating variety within this already-very-specialized niche.
The best resource I can point you to is probably http://depictionsofdeath.blogspot.com/ . Google's statistics consistently show that as a site that refers here and it contains an abundance of both stories and images. Not really my thing, of course, because, y'know, suffering vs. death and all, but it sounds like it might be right up your alley.
A slightly different possibility... the reason I started writing in the first place was because I couldn't find stories out there that I found satisfying, so I decided to create my own. Perhaps you might consider doing the same? You must have ideas in your head about things that turn you on. Maybe set them down in words and share them?
Thanks.